by John Kusters Jr.
He touched down on the balcony of her high-rise apartment at precisely 6p.m. He knew she valued punctuality, and he was not going to be late to take her out on her 65th birthday. They’d shared many such dinners over the decades, but this one was different. Tonight, he carried a secret heavy on his heart, one he’d decided he could no longer keep.
As his boots settled on the teak decking, the glass door slid open, and she stepped out to greet him. Though she could dress to rival Hollywood’s brightest stars, she always preferred practical clothes. Tonight she was dressed in fur-lined boots, heavy wool trousers, and that full-length navy greatcoat that made her blue eyes even more striking. Her hair, now turned silver with age, stirred in the evening breeze. His heart leaped at her beauty.
She flashed him her most welcoming smile. “On time as always, Boy Scout. Where are we going tonight?”
“I was thinking something a bit more private than usual. What would you say to the Fox and Hound up in Eldred?”
“Oh, I loved that place. You’ve made reservations?”
“Of course.”
“Of course,” she echoed with a sly smile. “I just like to verify my assumptions.”
“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”
He held out his arms, and she slid into them. Wrapping his arms around her firmly but not tightly, he pushed off into the evening air, his cape rustling in the wind.
Whatever force allowed him to defy Earth’s gravity also protected those he carried from the cold and wind of flight. He felt her shifting slightly in his arms, both for a better view and greater comfort. He spared a moment to smile down at her and was rewarded with a knowing and loving look. He would fight legions of aliens, killer robots, and mad geniuses for a look like that.
A moment of doubt shot through him. Would she accept his truth, as his parents had done unconditionally? Or would she reject him? He wasn’t sure he could bear her rejection. He had always known her as a practical yet caring person. Surely what he wanted to tell her wouldn’t change that, right? Despite how well he thought he knew her, there was always that fear.
The flight did not take long. It wasn’t as if they were going to that cute chalet in the Swiss Alps, or that wonderful restaurant they had found in Delhi. This was just a short jaunt from the sprawling metropolis she called home, where they had both worked together for several decades. Less than fifteen minutes from when they left her condominium, they were touching down in the gravel parking lot outside the steakhouse.
The warmth from the stone fireplace in the corner wrapped around them as they entered, carrying the rich aroma of grilled meat and aged wood. Crystal chandeliers cast a soft amber glow across the dark mahogany wainscoting, and the low murmur of conversation mixed with the gentle clink of fine china.
Of course there were stares and whispers around them as they waited for the host. There always were when he appeared in his red and blue skin-tight suit. Though he could have clearly heard every word being whispered, his moral sense wouldn’t allow such an invasion of privacy.
“Ah, monsieur, we have your table waiting,” the Maître d’ said in a practiced but inauthentic French accent. He led them to a table in a private, secluded corner of the dining room, and left them to peruse the menus.
When the server approached them, he could hear her heart racing with nerves, but she relaxed as they ordered their drinks–tonic water for him and white wine for her–and their meals. Once their drinks arrived, they sat in silence, gazing at each other. To cover his nerves, he picked up a piece of rich brown bread from its basket and began toying with it.
He’d faced planetary disasters, mass deaths, and even galactic terrors, but nothing in his life so far required more courage than this.
He knew it was now or never.
“There’s something I need to tell you, Lois,” he started. “A secret I’ve kept from you these nearly fifty years.”
Her brow arched slightly, but she said nothing, encouraging him to continue.
“I’m not who you think I am. I’ve led a double life for longer than I’ve known you, longer than just about anyone who has known me.” He had rehearsed this speech in his head hundreds of times over the past couple of years, but had never found the perfect words. He was tired of waiting and had decided to forge ahead.
He realized that he had squeezed the bread into a ball the size of a bead. Forcing himself to breathe and relax his hand, he said, “That is to say, I mean, well, I’m–“
She put her hand gently on his wrist. “You’re Clark.”
He pulled back in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up so quickly it would have been comical in any other situation. His mouth opened and closed twice before he managed to form words, and he had to consciously remember not to grip the table too tightly lest he crack the solid oak.
“You know?”
“My dear love, I’ve known for decades. Hadn’t you noticed the number of times I suggested ‘Clark’ run off to find you when danger appeared? I knew you were always one broom closet or phone booth away.”
Conflicting emotions flooded through him. How had she known? And if she knew, how many others had worked it out? How many more people were now in danger?
A gentle squeeze on his wrist brought his attention back to his date. “I’m pretty sure no one else has figured it out. And I’m not going to tell anyone.”
For the first time in decades, he felt like he could truly breathe. No more careful calculations about which version of himself to present. With her, at least, he could simply be.
A sense of shame for not coming out sooner played in the back of his mind. “How did you know?”
“You’ve always done a good job keeping your two personas very different. Clumsy versus confident, bashful verses courageous, stammering versus eloquent. But there’s one thing that was absolutely the same between the two of you, and only someone as close to both of you as I have could see it.”
“See what?”
“Your soul. That soul that shines as bright as the sun and challenges us all to rise to its example. It didn’t matter whether you were wearing the scarlet and blue,” she pointedly looked at the tights and cape he was wearing, “or that amazingly badly tailored suit–the man inside was always the same.”
He ducked his head in embarrassment. “Aw, shucks, Lois, that’s awfully kind of you to say.”
“And there’s that humility that is at the same time so endearing and frustrating.” Her smile took the sting out of the words.
“I only kept it secret to protect you, you and other people close to me.”
“It took me a couple of years to figure that out if I’m being honest. At first, when I realized who you were, I was pretty upset with you for keeping it a secret. But as I read stories about the lives of other people with gifts like yours, well, it dawned on me. You have powerful enemies, and your loved ones could be used as leverage against you.”
He smiled affectionately at her. “I should never be surprised at what you see and figure out.” His relief that his announcement was no big deal to her warred with his annoyance at his own decades-long hesitation to reveal his secret.
“This won’t change anything between us, of course. But I expect the world is in for a shock.”
“How so?”
“Once you unburden your soul with one person, other people are never far behind. I doubt it will be a year before you reveal your secret to the world.”
“No way, Lois, that’s not going–” but he stopped himself. As she had said it, he had felt something shift inside, a new yearning that he hadn’t fully felt before.
She shot him a knowing look. “See? I would imagine that keeping this secret has been tearing at you from the first time you put on your world-saving pajamas. And now that you’ve loosened your grip on it, the need to free yourself from it will gnaw at you.”
He realized the truth of her words, and then a panic started beating in his heart. “I hadn’t thought of that. I should have never said anything. I would rather not put you in any danger!”
She stopped him by grabbing his hand. “No, don’t you dare. I’m honored you decided to tell me. And when it comes time for the world to know the real Clark, we’ll figure it out. Neither of us is stupid.”
He chuckled. “But as you’ve reminded me on many occasions, I can be a bit naive and dense.”
“I’m glad you can admit that,” she said teasingly. “But seriously, I have confidence we’ll figure something out. And there’s no way I’m giving up on you, on us. You may not have realized it, but we’ve been dating for nigh on forty years now, and I hope it won’t belong before we’re walking down the street, arm in arm like ordinary people.”
“Lois, there has never been anything ordinary about you.”
“Look who’s talking!”
“Fair enough.”
“And I’m eagerly awaiting to hear all about growing up in that small town in Kansas, finding out about your gifts, and what Ma and Pa taught you. I know Clark loved them very much, but there was always something you held back. And now, I hope you’ll be able to give me the full story. Completely off the record, I swear.”
At the mention of his adoptive parents, a wistful smile shaped his lips. “Actually, if I do come out to the rest of the world, I might want you to tell that story. They were unbelievably good people, taught me so much.”
“You wouldn’t be the man you are if they hadn’t been. The world is a profoundly better place for the values they installed in you. That deserves some kind of recognition.”
“I could always carve a statue in their honor, maybe on some mountain face somewhere” he playfully suggested.
“Oh, my love, I appreciate the thought, but you’re not the most artistic man. Perhaps leave that to a professional.”
A hearty laugh escaped from his throat. “No, you’re absolutely right.” He couldn’t help but remember the bust he tried to make of Lois some thirty years ago. It still held a dusty place of honor deep in a nearly forgotten closet up in his arctic refuge.
He shifted in his chair and reached out to clasp her hands in his. “I love you, Lois, and your support through the years in both of my lives had been what’s kept me going through my roughest scrapes.”
He watched the blush creep up her cheeks. “And I’ve loved you too. How could I not? You ooze sincerity out of every pore in a world that desperately needs it. You’ve never hesitated when people were in danger, even if it put your life in jeopardy. That week when we thought you had died was one of the toughest in my life.”
“I’m sorry about that. I did what I had to do, and still hundreds of people died because I wasn’t enough.” Again, he ducked his head, feeling the weight of all the lives he had been unable to save throughout his career. He could summon up the memory of each time he had failed to do more.
“Oh, stop that. You gave your entire self and then more to save the city. No one can fault a thing you did there. I know you are haunted by the single voices you fail to save while saving the lives of the rest of the world, and that’s another piece of you that I love. No one in the history of the world has cared about the lives of every human as you, the alien, does.”
“Maybe you’re right. And perhaps I need to be reminded of that occasionally.”
Now it was her turn to chuckle. “I know you never would, but a therapist would do you a world of good.”
“Believe it or not, I do see a therapist occasionally. He sees several people with, as you said, gifts like mine. And yes, he knows about Clark.”
She cocked her head in surprise. “Is that so? You know if I was still working the beat, I’d be hounding you to give me his name. What an interesting story that would make.”
“And one that would possibly earn you yet another Pulitzer?”
“A girl has ambition,” she said, a sly look crossing her features agin.
Just then, their meals arrived. As they savored their meals, the conversation drifted to lighter territory. Lois detailed her latest passion for urban gardening, while he shared stories about a particularly amusing civilization he’d encountered in the Andromeda Galaxy — one that communicated entirely through interpretive dance. She updated him on Jimmy’s grandchildren, and he couldn’t help but smile at her story about her cat repeatedly outsmarting the expensive new automatic feeder she’d bought.
When their desserts were finished and the espresso cups were empty, the server stopped by and told them the meal was on the house. He was used to hearing this but could never let service and food go unpaid.
Long ago, he had realized that carrying the currency of any one nation would serve as an endorsement of that country’s ideology. Seeing himself as a citizen of the world, he had found his own way to pay his debts. From gold he had dug out of the Antarctic soil with his bare hands, he had smelted coins that bore his family crest on one side and a crude depiction of the Earth on the other. Much to his chagrin, the coins were valued more as collector’s items than for their gold content. After Lois had published his authorized biography, or at least the parts of it he was willing to share, someone had coined the name ‘Krypto-coin’ and it had stuck.
He plucked such a coin out of the hidden pocket behind the belt of his outfit and pressed it into the hand of their server as he thanked her for the outstanding service. Her stammering and blushing was a clear indication that she would remember this moment for the rest of her life.
As he flew them back to her condominium, he reflected on everything that had brought them to this place. The world had changed so much since he first donned his hero outfit. Back then, he was the only one with extraordinary gifts, gifts that arose out of the interaction between the planet’s sun and his alien biology. But in the intervening years, more heroes had risen to help stem the flood of evildoers and supernatural calamities. In most careers, he would be several years past retirement age. His powers hadn’t diminished — if anything, decades of exposure to Earth’s sun had made him stronger. He’d watched colleagues step back, training younger heroes to take their place. Yet how could he retire when his super-hearing still picked up every cry for help? When he could still feel the weight of responsibility his parents had instilled in him all those years ago in Kansas? The world had changed, but its need for hope — for him — hadn’t diminished.
They arrived back at her condo, and he landed with a soft thump. He released her from his arms, and she stood on the deck looking up at his face, her arms wrapped around his neck.
“Well, Lois, good–” His farewell interrupted by her grabbing the back of his head and pulling it down into her kiss. She didn’t let go for several minutes, and he found himself melting into her touch.
When she finally broke the kiss, she smiled up at him. “I’ve waited forty years to do that.”
“Maybe I should have said something sooner,” he chuckled.
She lightly slapped his arm. “Yes, perhaps you should have!”
“You know, I’ve watched people fall in love and couple up all my life, but I’ve always felt that was something I could never have myself. My secret always got in the way, I suppose.”
“So you’re saying that now I know your secret, you’re open to coupling up with me?” The look in her eye told him she was half teasing, but also half deadly serious.
The old instinct to hide that part of himself away from society’s critical eye flared to life. “Thank you for the fantastic evening, Lois. I was so worried you’d hate me for keeping that secret all this time.”
Her slight frown told him his answer was disappointing but expected. She then smiled at him. “I always knew you’d tell me in your time. I’m glad today was the day.”
“I suppose I should be going. I’m sure you have a busy day planned for tomorrow.”
“Do you have to? In all this time, I’ve never asked you to stay for a nightcap.”
“You know I don’t drink alcohol–“
“You know what I mean, Clark. I’ve never asked because I always knew you’d say ‘no.’ But tonight’s different. You’ve crossed into a new world. How about this time you stick around for a bit instead of running away again?”
He had always left at this point, knowing that allowing Lois to be closer to him jeopardized his secret and their relationship. For decades, he’d carefully compartmentalized his life, always watching his words, his mannerisms, making sure nothing slipped through the carefully constructed wall between his two selves.
But now that his secret life was out in the open between them, things had shifted. His heart was now more open than it had been just a couple of hours before. After sharing his whole self with her, how scary could it be to join her in her home, perhaps sit on the couch together embracing?
She backed towards the glass door to her condo, holding his hand and pulled at him to join her. As he stepped through the doorway, he realized that while the world might not be ready for all of who he was, having even one person know and accept his whole self made him feel less alone in the universe.
Opening up his self to an actual relationship with the woman he’d loved from a distance for so long was plenty scary, he realized, but it was a fear he now wanted to face.
And this time he did.
© 2024 John Kusters Jr.
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