John Kusters Jr.

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Securing My Digital Sovereignty

2026-07-02 / / 0 Comments
a laptop over a round table
Photo by Dan Nelson on Pexels.com

Ever since reading about how the Trump administration ordered Microsoft to block Outlook access to certain members of the ICC, I’ve been thinking about how few protections the US has around citizen privacy and their access to our data. And I’m looking at the EU’s efforts to enact digital sovereignty, and I’m thinking it’s time for me to make similar moves.

On February 6, 2025, Microsoft allegedly blocked the Outlook email account (and associated services) for ICC prosecutor Karim Khan, reportedly due to sanctions Trump imposed after the ICC issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defense Minister Yoav Gallant over alleged war crimes in Gaza. Microsoft president Brad Smith disputed the “blocked” framing, telling reporters the company never stopped or suspended services to the ICC — he described it instead as a “disconnection” of Khan’s individual account, with Microsoft staying in contact with the ICC to keep other services running. Whatever you call it, Khan was locked out and had to switch to Proton Mail. Trump was upset because the ICC was investigating people he wanted protected. The CLOUD Act gives the US government the right to compel handing over the personal data of anyone it desires, even if the data is stored outside the US. The Trump administration will tell you not to worry, to trust them that they’re only going after the bad guys. Do you believe that? Given how they’ve been treating people exercising their constitutionally protected rights to free speech, and how they’re trying to declare people who support trans rights as terrorists, I don’t trust them one bit.

The EU has a comprehensive data protection framework primarily through the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), which emphasizes strict consent, transparency, and accountability, imposing heavy fines for violations. The GDPR mandates that anyone storing data on an EU resident must come with a minimal amount of guarantees. The EU issues certifications for those who do. It should not be a surprise to learn that the US does not meet the EU’s requirements. For some time, there was an agreement between the EU and the US called “Safe Harbor,” but when it was shown that intelligence agencies routinely ignored the provisions when spying on EU residents communicating with US residents, that agreement was challenged in court and was overturned. They tried again with something called Privacy Shield, but that too was struck down in the courts. There is another agreement, the EU US Data Privacy Framework, but the recent Supreme Court ruling in Trump v. Slaughter likely means that the FTC, the current guarantor for privacy in the framework, is no longer independent, violating one of the terms of the framework. Maximilian Schrems, the man who successfully sued to strike down the previous two agreements, has indicated he plans to sue over the current one.

The EU has started urging member nations to look into digital sovereignty, to move away from software products and services that are offered by companies headquartered in the US as a way to protect its residents from the vagaries of administrations like the Trump one. Honestly, this sounds like a very good idea, and as my husband and I are working on our move to Spain, it has me contemplating how we could make a similar move.

I’m currently not looking to move away from the Apple ecosystem. At the moment, we are too tied to the ecosystem, and there aren’t many alternatives, none of which interoperate as smoothly as the Apple ones do. But I recognize that as a US company, Apple is subject to the CLOUD Act just like Microsoft is. I am much more comfortable with Apple’s privacy policies and practices than I am with Microsoft or Google (and I can vouch for how privacy is a core value that is discussed with the design of each service and product, having worked there for sixteen years). I think we’ll eventually look at other options, but we’re not ready to make that step yet.

The first step is disassociating ourselves from companies like Microsoft and Google. Microsoft is easy. Neither of us uses Outlook or Teams, and there are plenty of Office replacements in the open-source environment. While Apple’s office products are pretty good, and do a reasonable job at being able to handle Office’s file formats, they’re not awesome. I’m personally looking at OnlyOffice, the Office replacement that forms the basis of EuroOffice, but I’ll probably finalize on LibreOffice, since I much prefer that UI (I hate the “Ribbon” interface that has taken over the various Microsoft Office products). So ditching Microsoft should be simple. Ditching Google is more difficult. So many people depend on Google services like Meet, Drive, and Classroom, and if I’m interacting with them, I need a Google account. Ditching my Google account would also mean losing a lot of the customization features of YouTube. And I haven’t found a good replacement for the Google Flights website. The fact that Google is subject to the CLOUD Act is bad enough, but Google’s focus on packaging and selling user data to advertisers is just beyond the pale. I definitely want to divorce myself from them; I’m just not entirely sure how.

Beyond that, I’m looking at things like moving my web hosting to a company based in the EU and subject to the GDPR. My current hosting provider is Nearly Free Speech .Net, which has been a great service. But they’re based in the US. I’m currently looking at Hetzner. Obviously we’ll be getting phone and cable service from a local Spanish provider, but we’ll maintain a bare minimum plan in the US, probably with Tello, so we can still get 2FA texts. I’m not sure what else I’ll need to do to minimize my use of US-based digital services.

I personally feel that everyone in the US should be looking at the powers retained by the US government and how they intersect with your digital privacy rights. If what the US is allowed to do concerns you, I urge you to take action to protect yourselves as much as you can, especially if you are anything other than a straight, white, heterosexual, cisgender, Christian male. There are plenty of signs that the Trump administration is coming after us. We should all give them the smallest target possible.

On Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

2026-01-04 /

A dear friend recently posted something on Facebook that appeared to condemn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), calling it “gaslighting bullshit.” I took great umbrage at that assertion and, in fact, found it infuriating.

I’ll concede that I may have misinterpreted my friend’s intent. They mentioned hating apps that claim to use CBT. I haven’t used those apps, and perhaps what the apps present as CBT is merely hollow, meaningless affirmations. If that’s the case, I would likely agree about the uselessness—and possibly even harm—these apps pose. (This possibility is why I’m posting this in my own space rather than theirs.)

However, that’s not how I read my friend’s criticism. I interpreted it as an attack on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in general, and such an indictment runs completely contrary to my personal experience as a beneficiary of the technique. To be blunt: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy saved my life.

Before explaining why, I need to offer two caveats. First, I can only speak to my personal experience with the technique; others may have encountered CBT in different forms and come away with different impressions. Second, I’ll be discussing my struggle with depression, including references to suicidal ideation. If this content may cause you harm, please read no further.

I’ve always struggled with depression, though it took years to recognize it as such. As a teenager, I experienced days-long “sulks,” as my parents called them, periods when, if I got out of bed at all, I would spend every available moment lying there, dark thoughts swirling through my head. Yes, I frequently contemplated self-harm, seeking to “end it all” and relieve my suffering or, as I would have said then, “relieve the world of my unbearable presence.” Only the fact that most methods seemed overly painful prevented me from following through.

As I grew older, I learned to mask my depression better, or at least I thought I did. The hard crashes continued occasionally, and the only thing that seemed to help was listening to Indigo Girls. Something about their songs spoke to my inner core of internalized homophobia and loneliness. My friends noticed my struggles, though they misattributed the causes. Coming out helped relieve some symptoms, but the depression persisted, and I still crashed periodically.

Eventually, intense employment stress triggered the worst of my depression, causing me to snap at coworkers and surround myself with a nearly palpable gloom that drove others away. This cost me my job. I was fired from a company I had helped found. Subsequent positions met similar fates as my depression fed on my employment troubles, creating a vicious cycle of worsening mental illness.

I write all this so that you have an understanding how much I was affected by depression.

Finally, I was convinced to seek help. I started taking antidepressants and meeting with a therapist, who suggested we try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. He described it as identifying distorted thinking—moments when my internal monologue was full of inaccuracies—and finding evidence to prove those thoughts wrong.

(My subsequent reading supported this characterization. “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” by David D. Burns is a foundational work in popularizing CBT. The book explores the many ways depression distorts our thinking and offers strategies to counter these distortions. Some characterize CBT as “feel-good toxic positivity,” but I believe they’re entirely wrong.)

Here are some things my depression told me in my darkest moments:

* “You fail at everything.”
* “You’re a stupid loser.”
* “No one wants to spend time with you. No one cares about you.”
* “You’ll never be loved.”

Two revelations of CBT were particularly helpful for me. First, my mind was lying to me, and it was easy to prove these statements inaccurate. Second, my mind dealt in absolutes—and as Obi-Wan Kenobi says, “only the Sith deal in absolutes.”

My therapist helped me recognize these thoughts and thought patterns, identify them, and compile a list of common ones. Then we examined each and found instances in my life—events that happened or things people said—that proved the thoughts inaccurate or, more bluntly, were lies. We completed worksheets documenting times I had succeeded and conducted honest assessments of my skills, talents, and abilities. We reviewed invitations I’d received to parties and events, and noted how people at the weekly board game night I co-hosted enjoyed my jokes and valued my observations.

All these data points proved my all-or-nothing thinking was simply wrong. Given how my mind works, having concrete evidence that a statement is false severely weakens its hold on me. Once the lies are exposed, they lose their power.

As people often say about mental illness: depression lies. CBT helped me expose those lies and counter them with fact-based proof. Is CBT a cure? LOL, No. I still experience depression and bleak periods. But I no longer tolerate the absolute, all-or-nothing, distorted thinking that once pulled me deeper into darkness. I can now recognize depression for what it is, identify distorted thinking, and stop it in its tracks. I wouldn’t have these tools without my therapist suggesting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Will CBT work for everyone? I doubt it. I defer to trained therapists and psychologists who have the experience to recognize when CBT would benefit their patients.

But it worked for me, and I won’t tolerate anyone gaslighting me by calling it bullshit.

The Come From Away Experience

2024-11-24 /

This Thursday, I experienced Come From Away again. I’ve experienced it twice in theatres, a couple of times on Apple TV+, and countless times streaming the music. And I very explicitly and deliberately use the word “experience” instead of “watching” and/or “listening.” Of all of the theatre I’ve seen, Come From Away is the one that full pulls me in and makes me feel ALL of the feelings. Knowing that every actor on stage is portraying actual people who lived through the event, and are often speaking in the actual words of the affected people, turns my empathy up to 11 or more.

I understand and deeply feel the terror, the fear, the agony, the relief, the fascination of exploring new identities, and how the experience ultimately changed them. I want to believe I would act like the people of Gander with incredible grace on such short notice. I want to believe I’d be open to new experiences like lumberjack Kevin, I’d like to believe in new love found in horrible situations, I wish I would be clever enough to figure out how to communicate with fearful people and tell them they have no need to be anxious.

I feel my guts wrench when the pilot, Beverly, realizes that the thing that has brought her the most joy in her entire life was just used to kill hundreds and thousands of people. And Hannah, desperate to get news about her son, and then the heart-wrenching resolution. I am literally on the edge of tears throughout most of the 90 minutes, and there are several times I’m entirely overwhelmed. Even listening to the cast recording will bring the tears (as it’s doing at this moment as I’m typing this).

They often say theatre can take you away, allow you to live other people’s experiences. For me, Come From Away is the epitome of that maxim.

An Ill-Informed Election

2024-11-23 /

I’m seeing commentary, both in mainstream media and on social media, that expresses incredulity that people knew what Project 2025 and Agenda 47 were all about and yet a plurality of voters chose it anyways. The problem is, I’m not convinced the majority did know about this. In this election, the majority of voters did not get their news from reliable sources. They either got all their news from right-wing sources (Fox, NewsMax, ONN, etc.) or from algorithm-based social media (Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Threads, etc.) where the algorithm was feeding them an endless supply of highly biased information. Now that the election is over, and proponents of Project 2025 are exultant and not trying to obfuscate it anymore, a lot of Trump voters are hearing about it for the first time and are shocked. Sadly, truth-based news reporting failed to penetrate the right-wing “news” bubble.

I expect many of those voters will be outraged when parts of that agenda take effect. And I’m partly empathic, but equally partly scornful. Like, I’m sorry they’ll feel the consequences of tariffs, destruction of healthcare, immigrant detention camps, higher prices on everything, denaturalization, and dozens of other consequences of their vote along with the rest of us who tried to warn them, but I’m also angry about how easily they were duped, how they eagerly consumed a steady diet of lies and obfuscation from the right-wing propaganda machine, and showed disinterest in (or lack of capacity to) engage critical thinking skills.

Sadly I really don’t know how to address this disparity in veracity of sources of information. How do we get people who are dependent on a steady diet of fear and manufactured outrage to step outside of that ecosystem and let some facts into their worldview? Telling them “I told you so” will only increase resistance to deradicalization.

It’s infuriating how mainstream media, including those generally considered on the liberal end of the political spectrum, are currently attacking Bluesky for giving progressive people safe harbor, accusing us of building an echo chamber, while completely ignoring the right-wing echo chamber that radicalized and stupefied a little under 50% of this year’s voters.

Where Have I Been?

2024-07-16 /

The past few months have been a whirlwind, keeping me away from my writing desk more often than I’d like. Family health crises, travel commitments, and a relentless heatwave conspired against my creative pursuits. However, the cooler weather and inspiring panels at BayCon have reignited my passion for the craft.

While my main projects took a backseat, I wasn’t entirely idle. I’ve penned nearly 20,000 words on a cozy mystery—a delightful side project that’s been a welcome distraction. But now, it’s time to refocus on honing my short story skills.

The writing journey is rarely smooth, and as anticipated, my latest round of submissions met with rejections. Currently, my submission queue stands empty, save for one urban fantasy piece. This noir-tinged tale of a detective uncovering the truth about vampires straddles the line between fantasy and horror, leaving me uncertain about its ideal market. Moreover, it’s not quite the genre I want to lead with, and it still needs to undergo the rigorous workshop and critique process.

Famous Science Fiction, 1967
Image copyright John Keogh, 2006. Attribution-NonCommercial (CC BY-NC 2.0)

So, I find myself back at the drawing board, flexing those neglected brainstorming muscles. I’ll admit, my sci-fi idea generation muscles have grown a bit atrophied, but I’m determined to build them back up. Armed with my trusty notebook and a new Pilot “Vanishing Point” fountain pen (a birthday gift to myself which glides across the page like a dream), I’m ready to tackle this creative challenge head-on.

As I embark on this renewed journey, I’m curious: do you have any go-to sources for writing prompts, especially those tailored for science fiction? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments below. Let’s spark some interstellar inspiration together!

Long Time No Update

2024-05-13 /
antique typewriter on stool
Photo by Arturo A on Pexels.com

Well, yeah, time flies? Sorry, I haven’t updated in quite some time. I fell out of the habit, and life occasionally got interesting.

I did finish NaNoWriMo 2023, with over 50K words written in a fantasy novel. After I hit the 50K, I set it aside. It needs a lot of work to get it to a place where I’d be interested in completing it. It was supposed to be a swashbuckling adventure which takes place in a setting that combined ancient magic, newly emergent steam-powered technology, inscrutable gods, and a ton of Dumas-inspired musketeer action. I might have hit some of the notes of that last bit, but other than that, the city never really came alive in my writing. It just felt like a bog-generic fantasy city. BORING! So, into the incubator it goes and maybe in a couple of years it’ll come back out with new life and energy.

In the mean time I’ve started and stopped a number of projects, from Space Opera to low-stakes fantasy, to MM romance. Currently on the needles, as my knitter husband would say, is a cozy murder mystery with a gay male sleuth. I’m enjoying writing it, taking a lot of inspiration from “How to Write a Cozy Mystery: Step by Step: A Proven System to Create Reader-Favorite Cozies” by Natasha C. Sass. Of course, I targeted a cool 60K novel, but just four chapters in, I’m having to reset my target to 75K. I am not a brief writer.

Anyway, I’ll try to get back in to the habit of updating this blog.

If you stumble across this and read this update, thank you!

New Submission

2023-07-24 /

I’ve submitted the story F&SF kindly rejected to another magazine, this one with a much shorter response time, specifically Clarksworld. Again, my expectations are very low, just hoping to eventually snag a personalized response.

On LLM “Artificial Intelligence”

2023-05-29 /

As I toddle off to bed, I’m pondering why we are calling LLM tools “artificial intelligence”. They don’t really show any kind of intelligence, artificial or otherwise. All they do is put millions of texts into a blender, hit the “frappe” button, then pour the slurry back out and feed it to you. There’s no verification of presented data, no discernment between fact and fiction, just stochastically stringing words together in a way that resembles other text it has seen. The appearance of coherence is merely a factor of how much data it has consumed. The coherence is an illusion. And yet we have people out there that are convinced systems like ChatGPT are some kind of oracle, infallible and wise. That’s truly frightening.

Thoughts on a Polite Society

2023-04-20 /

An armed society is a polite one!

Ralph Yarl shot in the head after mistakenly ringing the doorbell at the wrong house.

An armed society is a polite one!

Kaylin Gillis killed after pulling into the wrong driveway by mistake.

An armed society is a polite one!

Two Texas cheerleaders shot after one mistakenly got into the wrong car.

As the number of guns in our society skyrocket, I just have to ask: When the FUCK do we get to the POLITE part of the aphorism frequently quoted by gun lovers? When did making simple mistakes, mistakes all of us make at one or more points in our lives, become a crime punishable by being shot at or even killed?

Doing The Scary Thing

2023-03-24 /

I have done the scary thing. I have submitted my first story for publication, namely to the biggest name out there, the Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction.

While I certainly hope the story will fit what they are looking for at the moment, my expectation is a rejection letter. But this is the first step at becoming a published author. Every traditionally published author has stepped through this gateway. And now I have done the same.

And if they do pass on the story, there are many other magazines and web sites out there to submit to. And if any of them give me editorial comments, I’ll definitly incorporate them before re-submitting. But I’m proud of myself for taking this first step. I’ve been hesitant to take this step for too long.

Yay me!

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